Shut Up and Kiss Me
by maraudergirl87
Summary: Tonks is the prankee of one of the twins jokes with some unexpected but not unwelcome consequences.


**Author's Note:** It didn't take me too long to write this one-shot. It just took me a while to type it up. But after much pestering on my boyfriend's part, I finally got around to typing it up so I could post it for all you lovely readers out there! So here it is, my fourth Tonks/Remus one-shot (I've tried to write for other ships but they aren't nearly as wonderful as my favorite couple).

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter even though I have blond hair and can put on a gorgeous British accent if I do say so myself.

* * *

I opened the door to number twelve after an absolutely exhausting shift for the Order. Three feet into the entryway a hand was over my mouth and I was being pulled up the stairs. As I was about to jinx my kidnapper I caught two glimpses of red hair as we passed a lit wall sconce. We made it to the drawing room before anything was said. Fred was the first to speak.

"Not a word until we perform the precautionary spells." I rolled my eyes and nodded as they threw several spells at the door (banishing and silencing spells were the only ones that I recognized). When they were finished they turned to me and George spoke.

"We've got a proposition for you sweet cheeks," he said with a wink.

"Sweet cheeks?" I said, a little disgusted. He shrugged. I continued.

"So what's the proposition?" I asked with the slightest hesitation and a tiny bit of curiosity.

"We've been working on a new spell that can be placed surreptitiously on the unsuspecting friend or enemy," Fred said, as though about to unveil the latest racing broom. I waited for them to continue and when they didn't I asked,

"What does it do?"

They shared one of those stupid 'I know something you don't' laughs and when they finished, George (at least I think it was George) said,

"It causes mirth and merriment to all around, dear Tonks." I snorted at his ridiculous answer and elaborated.

"How?"

"We don't reveal our secrets Tonks. Now if you'll just stand still for a moment-"

"Wait just a second! If you think I'm just going to stand here and let you two put some spell on-"

"Too late for that!" Fred said looking amused.

"Too late? What do you mean too late?" I reached for my wand to hex them into oblivion but George pulled my wand out of his pocket and started twirling it in his fingers. He anticipated my question before I even got it out.

"I took it on the stairs. Another precautionary measure," He said with a smirk.

"Precautionary my ass! Give that back!" I shoved my hand in front of George's face. Fred stepped in between us.

"You have to promise not to use it against George and I," he said seriously. My jaw dropped.

What the hell did you do to me?" I screamed as I patted down my body, feeling for anything out of the ordinary.

"Nothing permanent. Don't worry. Now we are going down to dinner after the Order meeting finishes, which should be about fifteen minutes from now-"

"And which you are supposed to be in attendance so we'll see you at dinner!" Immediately after George stopped talking he dropped my wand on the coffee table and they both apparated into another part of the house. I picked up my wand and went out of the room. As I walked down the stairs and toward the kitchen I said to myself, "Those two _must_ share the same brain. They _have_ to."

I had made it to the ground floor without any mishaps but me being Tonks had to go and mess all that up by knocking over that damn troll leg umbrella stand. Thusly my great-aunt's portrait woke from her magically induced slumber and started screaming her standard tyrannical pureblood rubbish.

"We was wonderin' when you'd get 'ere Dora." Mundungus Fletcher was helping me up while Remus and Sirius were shutting the curtains over the portrait. When I realized that Dung had called me Dora I was ready to rip him a new one but what came out of my mouth was very different from an angry rebuke about my name. A low, sultry voice slipped out of my mouth and said,

"Shut up and kiss me."

Luckily Great-Aunt Walburga was still giving Remus and Sirius problems so the shocked faces of Dung and myself went unnoticed by the two. I clapped my hand over my mouth while Dung just sat there and stared at me with his mouth slightly open. I looked at him and opened my mouth, hoping that what came out this time would be my own.

"Please don't tell any one about this Dung," I whispered.

"Sure thing Dora." With that he dazedly turned and walked back into the kitchen. Remus followed as Sirius nudged me along. We sat at the end of the table where I became practically invisible and allowed myself to drift into a daze. I shook myself awake when I registered the fact that the meeting was over and Dumbledore was approaching me.

"How did guard duty go tonight Ms. Tonks?" he inquired.

"Shut up and kiss me," was the reply in the same low voice as before. I felt myself turn red as Sirius' laughter shook the bench and Dumbledore's eyebrows went up as he gave a small smile. I looked up at him and said,

"It's not legally or magically binding as far as I know."

"None the less," he said and swooped down and kissed my forehead. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have other affairs to attend to."

Sirius was still snickering away next to me when Dumbledore made his exit. When he got control of, he turned to me with an evil glint in his eye.

"So how long have you had an unrequited fancy for Albus, Tonks?" he said trying to contain laughter.

"Shut up and kiss me," I said for the third time since I had entered Headquarters. He looked at me with wide eyes then lost it again.

"Oh! I get it," he said through laughter. "You've been jinxed."

"It's more of a prank," I grumbled as I crossed my arms.

"This is too good to pass up."

"What do you mean? Sirius?" I didn't like the tone of his voice. He was looking around the room for something or someone. He finally found who he was looking for over my left shoulder.

"Hey Moony!" Oh no. I made to stand up and run away but Sirius pulled me back down to the bench. "Nope. You're going to let me enjoy this Tonks."

If I was turning red before, I was doing the opposite then.

Remus Lupin was slowly making his way towards the end of the table. His green jumper hung on his thin frame, draping over the waistband of his khaki trousers. He pushed some of his prematurely graying sandy blond hair out of his blue-green eyes that had flecks of gold in them. Oh yeah. I had it bad. Not that I had a problem with that. The problem was that Sirius knew I had it bad, too.

Remus sat down next to me and when he was comfortable, turned to Sirius, who was sitting on my other side.

"Yes Padfoot?"

"Oh, no," he said, acting surprised. "_I_ didn't want to talk to you. Tonks here, on the other hand, has something she'd like to say I think." During this little exchange, I was glaring daggers at Sirius. Remus turned to me and being the kind, thoughtful Remus that he is, became concerned when he saw my flushed complexion.

"Nymphadora, are you alright?" I sighed before saying anything.

"Shut up and kiss me," I said staring into those beautiful eyes of his. I shut my eyes after I got that single sentence out, not wanting to see his look of rejection. As I was about to offer an explanation, I was silenced by warm, slightly chapped lips against mine. The kiss seemed to last an eternity. The lips pulled away and I opened my eyes to see Remus staring back at me expectantly.

"It wasn't binding," I whispered.

"I know," he said quietly. "You didn't have Dung kiss you." I didn't even care to know how he knew that.

"Then why did you do it?" He looked me in the eyes and said,

"Because I wanted to." It was at that moment that Sirius decided to put his two cents in.

"I told you so."

"Shut up Sirius," Remus and I said in unison before leaning in for another kiss.

"Tonks, you naughty girl!"

"People eat here you know!" Fred and George had just walked into the kitchen. I stood up immediately.

"What the hell did you do to me?" Sirius' ears perked up at this tidbit of information.

"You two did this?" They nodded in the affirmative. "What is it?" Fred said,

"It's a little spell we like to call-"

"Introductory Charm," George finished.

"How does it work?" Remus asked.

"Remus!" I exclaimed. He raised his hands in defense and said, "What? I'm curious!" I poked his shoulder for switching to the dark side as the twins explained.

"Basically you say the incantation as you point your wand at the prankee, all the while thinking of the phrase you want them to repeat." Then Fred pulled a box out of his pocket and handed it to Remus. George continued.

"When you purchase Introductory Charm you get twelve quality phrases to choose from that are sure to cause mirth and merriment to all."

"What if you have your own phrase to use? Will it still work?" Sirius asked.

"All you have to do is say the exact same incantation for each phrase. We've simply included a few funny ones for those who can't think of any good ones on their own," George said

"And the spell will stay in place for an hour after being cast. So for that hour, the first time any one talks to the prankee, the first thing out of their mouth is the prankster's pre-selected phrase," Fred finished.

"That's brilliant," Sirius said.

"Best if used at partied or large gatherings," Remus added.

"Or if two people dance around each other week after week," Fred said in an undertone.

"You're going to use it on Ron and Hermione?" I said feigning shock. They all laughed.

"Yeah, that's exactly who I was thinking about Tonks," Fred said. Every one stopped and considered it for a moment.

"I'll get Ron," Sirius said.

"I'll get Hermione," I said.

"We'll try and come up with a good phrase," Remus said indicating Fred, George and himself. Sirius and I were about to go upstairs on our mission when Remus grabbed my arm.

"Hurry back," he said. I kissed his cheek and whispered,

"I will."

And that was the perfect end to what started out as the worst day ever.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Well I hope you enjoyed reading that. I had fun writing it (especially some of the dialogue). If you did enjoy it, I would really appreciate knowing so if you could drop me a line in the form of a review that would be wonderful. If you didn't enjoy it … well you stink. Bugger off. 


End file.
